TUESDAY 1ST OCTOBER 2013 AT
THE ROOM AT THE TOP
Apologies
were received from Barry D, Carolyn, Cathy, Clive and Susie H
Those
present for the evening were Martin, Jane, Beryl, Dave, Dick, Barry, Liliane, Suzy G, Katy, Tony, Les and me, Caz.
 |
| Jack - Outward Bound |
The
rental is due once more for the hire of The Room at The Top and our membership
fees for those who pay annually will soon be due. It is hoped to hold the cost
to £25 per year but will confirm this at our next meeting. The meeting by
meeting charge should remain at £3.
As you
will know there will be another Book Festival in Felixstowe next year. It is
hoped we will be involved and might even take this opportunity of putting
together a small anthology of work to launch and sell at the event. Some
planning needed!!!
We paid our own little tribute to Ray who has moved
to London with his wife to care for his daughter. He was a character and a gem
of a writer. It made sense to read out the story he sent which would have been
his entry to the Bill Budner Trophy.
RAY’S - THE PATIENCE OF THE IMPATIENT PATIENT
Dave read
Ray’s piece and it was all about how you wait and wait to see your doctor. As
you wait you read the reams of notices about prostate cancer, Chlamydia, obesity
and heart attacks and then when you eventually get in to see the doctor (45
minutes after your appointment time) he just looks at his computer screen and
gives you the results he could have given over the phone but the receptionist had
insisted on making the appointment.
The homework theme this time was “Pets”
and what a mixture of tales we got...!
BERYL - THE LODGER
A tale
about growing up in a Jewish community, in Winthrop Street in the East End of
London. Having a best friend called Muriel who lived in a house very
similar but ours was very close to the knackers’ yard with its distinctive
smell. We were lucky that our parents took us to all the landmarks of London
but on one those trips my brothers argued in front of a policeman and my Father
was not amused. He told them they had disgraced themselves and the Jewish
community and our trip was terminated. Our house had no bathroom; its lavatory
was in the garden. We four children shared a bed and my parents had the other.
DICK – DON’T TELL SANDRA
About a childless
couple who lived next door to nightmare neighbours. Life was relatively quiet
but for the neighbour’s son who had a menagerie of reptiles in his bedroom that
were not always kept securely. Frank always worried that he might come face to
face with an alligator, snake or tarantula. When the neighbour came a knocking
to say their pregnant tarantula was missing. The neighbours hunted high and low
for it, eventually it crawled out from its hiding place under a wheelie bin.
LES – LOVE OF ALL PETS
All
through their marriage they always had pets, from frogs to budgies, dogs and
cats. Fred our frog lived in our very pretty pond in our garden. We had a
Budgie named Pip sat and nibbled our ears affectionately. Joan forbade me to
swear in front of him! Our Tabby, Lucy was a real character who lived in the
undergrowth. Our Llasa Apso puppy we named Barney - much disapproved of by Lucy
the cat. One day we found Barney one shivering in the pond which we
decided to dispose of. Whilst doing so Fred suddenly appeared and ran off under
the gate never to be seen again. Barney lived for sixteen years and had a good
life with us as did all our pets. They were all much loved pets and we missed
them all because all animals are beautiful.
LILIANE – IT TAKES SOME GETTING USED TO
I
was quite resigned to leave when the new owners took over the house where I was
a servant but was asked to stay as part of the family. From age fourteen I was
a servant after I had left the orphanage. Their animals too were hard to get
used to. The old Master had horses and dogs. Then Madame got herself an old cat
in a kind of vengeance against her husband who only married her for her money.
She doted on the cat and had it stuffed when it died. A family living in
a commune and all thirteen of them kept animals which took some getting used
to. There was an awful parrot whilst Madame Annie loved cats then a dog was
brought to the house as a present. There
was also a goat and there would be snakes and mice if certain people have their
way.
KATY – MY ZOO
My
Wonderful Zoo -. A Staffie called Ty, a cat called Smudge, another called
Patch, a Bengal called Tober, Two Royal Pythons called Khal and
Khaleesii, and Taga a Tortoise,. Then there are the straight haired and
curly haired guinea pigs. Ice, Teddy, Sandy, Punk, Rusty, Popeye, Little Lamb,
Pop Corn, Humbug, Sunny, Peaeye, Muffin, Lollie, Chutney, Truffle, Black Sheep,
Ribbon, Floss, Angel, Honey, Sugar, Cookie, Biscuit, Twinkle, Star, and a
Himalayan called Boo, Chestnut and Treasure. They all mean the World to me and
with them is where I like to be.
SUZI - THE QUESTIONNAIRE
Who likes
being stopped in the street to fill in a questionnaire, - nobody? This
young girl was so charming she couldn’t resist helping her. First
question, are you seeking a pet or pets? No way, we have enough to do
without worrying about animals too. Old people look stupid with little
miniature dogs I always think. Is there a pet that could do the washing up I
wonder? Enough breeding in this house as it is already. Aunty Mary got a puppy
to replace her old Labrador, which went on to eat all her shoes. We could
always have a pony but I can’t stand show offs. What does it matter where you
live so why should they ask what kind of dwelling a new pet owner would live
in? Fred’s friend’s cat has had kittens and Fred so wanted one but his Mum said
no way. Tom packed his school books away and Tom’s Mother got a shock to see a
tiny ginger-haired kitten. With the kitten purring she couldn’t resist saying
yes.
MARTIN – WOMAN WITH CATS
She had
two cats more than she said but she liked to stroke them. She was a widow now
but during her marriage there was no touching, talking or intimacy. Don’t look,
don’t touch, don’t tell. Or you’ll go to hell .He wasn’t a bad man but liked
things regimented. In a row, things he could count. She thought about the girl
in the thin cotton dress, riding her bike and touching the corn with her hand
as she rode. She met another man at the tyre and exhaust centre and they went
to the Cinema together. Had lunch in a pub and then she invited him home and
danced with him in the kitchen. They went to the bedroom, no man had ever
kissed her bare. She felt his kisses inside her. It was just for her, only for
her a place of warmth and sunshine she realised that her young self was still
here. Her daughter came to visit and said she looked different She was glowing with green, blue and yellow and
she had a twinkle, and she shone.
BARRY M –
ROBBIE
The clock struck seven. That’s not seven o’clock, just the
number of people passing as the clock fell from the tower. I have to be careful
what I write in case the local rag sues me. I have a rabbit called Robbie and
he has a whole double bedroom as a run when his hutch is cleaned up.
You have to be careful what you say and do around rabbits
because they have feelings just like we humans do. I left George our Jack
Russell with Robbie. There was a rustle of a plastic bag and really
strange noises coming from it. Then George barked and I looked and saw Robbie
on George's back likje a cowboy, pulling at his left ear. I took out my
phone and recorded what I was seeing, as no-one would believe it. I
started to write my homework but listened to the radio for inspiration. There
was Robbie using his paws to type up my story at my desk Robbie said he
would do the writing if I supplied him with fresh dandelions on a daily
basis. I won the Bill Budner Trophy ten times consecutively until I was
banned from entering. Now we all know my secret, it was not me writing at all
but my dandelion munching reliable rabbit Robbie.
JANE - A SPECIAL RECIPE
Polly
knew it was going to be a bad day when she was ostracised in the playground by
her neighbour, for giving her son’s friend fish fingers for his tea. They were
100% cod so even Jamie Oliver would be impressed, even though he thought you
should only use fish in oil... Polly revealed to a friend later that she used
to quite fancy Jamie Oliver but now she could throttle him as she remembered in
her nightmare, his sign saying ‘failed Mother’. As she sank into her chair in
despair she wondered how she could explain
how she had managed to reverse over and kill Henry the family cat. In half
an hour she had to collect the children so she had to think fast. She told them
that Henry had a heart attack and she had taken him to the vets. No time to
bury him, she hid the cat in the freezer overnight. As Polly explained about the
cat just going to sleep, the doorbell rang and Suzie bounded in with Jamie
Oliver’s pasta sauce, containing seven different vegetables. The other neighbour
side then called and said, “You found him then? I’m so sorry I reversed over
Henry in my haste to get to the hospital and didn’t have time to stop.” Polly
was relieved it wasn’t her who killed Henry then Suzie screamed “you’ll never
guess what’s in her freezer?” Polly put her fingers to her lips and said it was
a Secret Jamie Oliver Recipe ...
TONY – THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE EMOH
Sharing
an excerpt from his story Tony tells of Persia and Borox who lived in a semi
detached cave in the times of the Stone Age Man. They had done some frolicking
and Borox had put a spider down Persia’s dress. In her horror to rid herself of
the creature, she fell and soaked herself with a bucket of water and Borox laughed
like a drain. While getting dried off in a room behind a closed door Persia
standing naked saw a person unknown to her staring at her. He had a scurrilous
tale to tell of being sat there on this rock for many moons but could do
nothing. Persia asked if he had seen her before and he affirmed that he had on
many occasions. He insisted there was nothing wrong with this as he was her
part-Grandfather and her nakedness was just so natural. Allirog has spent his
whole life looking for you, replied Persia and when you turn up he is nowhere
to be seen. As John Bubblan introduced himself officially, he took off his coat
and offered it to Persia to hide her modesty, if a little too late to defend
her modesty.
CAZ – OTHER PEOPLE’S PETS
My piece
was about how five years ago I started to look after people’s pets in their own
homes. How after Jack had died I felt a real need to get out of the house but
didn’t really want to go back to office work. Totally by accident I looked
after a customer of Karl’s cats, while she went to India for three weeks. Then
I started my business of house/pet sitting. and now have a lot of regular
customers whose homes I go and stay in, while they are away, from a night to a
fortnight. Many of my customers have dogs, that I walk twice a day and feed and
feel that looking after them, in their own homes, helps them to cope with being
left by their owners. Much nicer than going to kennels. Most of my customers I
have through word of mouth and although I will never make a fortune, with my very
reasonable rates, it has given me some peace from my relenting grief at the
loss of my only son. I will never forget Jack or ever stop missing him
but I feel in my heart he is with me, every step of every walk I take...
DAVE – MISSING
Shereen,
our neighbour’s daughter and a pupil at the school I taught at, knocked on our
door and asked “Have you seen my little Pussy?” As I spluttered my way to a
reply I heard my wife stomping through the hall and asking “What’s going on
here?” It was not the most ideal of situations standing between the ‘devil and
the deep blue sea!. I trembled as the foundations shook in the wake of my
wife’s thunder. Shereen had a twinkle in her eye and a beautiful body but she
quivered at the sound of Merle’s voice. “I’ve lost my little pussy and I was
asking if your husband had he seen it?” Merle was furious and told her not to
come round here flaunting herself in this way. It didn’t matter that I tried to
defend this young girl, as she tried to explain ‘Pussy’ is the name of her new
kitten that had escaped from their home. I managed to find Shereen’s little
pussy behind the garden shed but not before it sank its fangs into my hand and
drew blood. In front of the Head Teacher the next day I asked Shereen, “how was
her little pussy” and I’m still awaiting the disciplinary action that wll be
heading my way.
Our next
meeting is on Tuesday 15th October when our homework assignment is
to write up to a 1,000 words on an event in your favourite historical period.
It can be fact or fiction of course.
Hope to
see you all there, in the meantime
Keep
Scribbling!
Caz
